i am a donut

Play Up!

2008-02-24T22:23:00.002Z

Up the euro

2008-02-03T22:42:00.001Z

With euros you can buy beer just about anywhere in Europe, except Britain.

Who cares about the economic effect, I want to buy beer in Europe!

There's a new blog in town

2008-01-24T22:34:00.000Z

Go west young man!

Life on the allotments.

Pure Genius

2008-01-23T10:13:00.000Z

'Nuff said

Annus Dumnoniorus

2008-01-03T22:10:00.000Z

Just over a year of living and working in Devon. Much has happened. Some of it good. Some of it not so good. Some of it wet.

Number of times arrived at work soaking wet after walking along the Taw in driving wind and squally showers: umpteen
Number of cakes, donuts or cookies eaten in celebration of work colleague birthdays: 6
Devon cream teas: one
Walks on Exmoor: 4
Letters to the Journal about Devon CC crazy parking plans: two
Hours wasted at work on the internet: REDACTED
Mentions of the MSC Napoli on local TV news: zillions
Jobs: 1
Teams: 2
Desks: 5
Other jobs applied for: 1
Number of power failures: 1
Times boiler broken down: twice
Rooms painted: 6
Money spent on building works and decorating: £6000
Meals provided by vegetable plot: a dozen or so
Letters in opposition of planning applications: 1
Parish Council meetings attended: 5
Gardeners' Club meetings: 10
Pints from the Country Life Brewery: 20

Bloody pictures of the bloody Taw Bridge at bloody sunset: too many

Times wished back in London: zero

Newest Member of the Web Development Team

2007-12-10T21:49:00.000Z

Some say he's a blow hard.

What might have happened to those HMRC CDs?

2007-12-10T14:49:00.000Z

What might have happened to those HMRC CDs?

An e-mail to staff here...

===

Dear All,

Please can you check if there is a brown A4 envelope addressed to [REDACTED] in your post bag? It was spotted by [REDACTED] on Friday last week but has not yet turned up at the post room. If you have seen it, please let me know - [REDACTED].

[REDACTED]

[REDACTED]
[REDACTED]
Human Resources
[REDACTED]

Tel: [REDACTED]
Fax: [REDACTED]

===

Another place the CDs might found.

Small Fuzzy Thing in the Night Sky

2007-11-13T21:18:00.000Z

That would be Comet Holmes. Elementary.

Belgium still up Merde Creek without a paddle. (This might be a no.94 tram.)

iPod-alotry
"Slow Country" - Gorillaz
"The Bends" - Radiohead
"Serenade" - Arab Strap
"So Long, Lonesome" - Explosions in the Sky
"Axis '67, Pt.2" - Bobby Conn
"Organum" - Max Richter
"Marathon" - Vic Chesnutt
"Car" - Built to Spill
"A Good Friend is Always Around" - The American Analog Set
"Starcleaner" - The Brian Jonestown Massacre
"Motorbus" - Fridge
"Swastika Eyes (Chemical Brothers Mix" - Primal Scream
"First Hits" - Don Caballero
"Mr President" - Clinton
"Mr Lucky" - John Lee Hooker
"Revenge of the Black Regent" - Add N to (X)

Eleventh

2007-11-11T11:11:00.001Z

Olympian Effort

2007-11-07T20:46:00.000Z

Defended the corporate line: yeauch!
Overslept: but still feel knackered.
Creative: used artistic endeavours to brighten up the workplace.

Get your chocolate fix and save the environment. Green & Black's anyone?

Olympic Legacy: a 25,000 seat athletics stadium that no one needs (and without a "anchor" tenant); a crumbling Crystal Palace "National" Stadium; a shocking lack of swimming facilities in London; a hardcore of displaced people; a huge debt for London taxpayers (possibly). But, the opening ceremony will be breathtaking no doubt including "entertainment" luminaries such as Sting, Suggs and the Spice Girls and Seb Coe will flash his boyish smile.

"Ebb's Folly" - Will Oldham and Jim O'Rourke
"Piano" - Tricky
"E-Pro" - Beck
"Graine De Beaute" - Monade
"This is Why You Love Me" - The Brian Jonestown Massacre
"7:25" - Mogwai
"Renaissance Man" - Sebadoh
"Loaded" - Primal Scream
"Sell Me Back My Soul" - King of Woolworths
"Slip Inside This House" - Primal Scream
"Paro Fadeout" - Microstoria
"Easy Money" - King Crimson
"Anamorphose" - Stereolab
"Ruin It, Ruin Them, Ruin Yrself Than Ruin Me" - Kid 606
"End of a Century" - Blur
The Girl I Love She Got Long Black Wavy hair - Led Zeppelin

Isn't Nature Wonderful

2007-11-06T22:14:00.000Z

Horse hanging out in the neighbourhood.

Cow having a pee.

Big ol' mushroom.

Watched: greedy middle class people taking advice from a women with an ample bosom and a penchant for tight clothes.
Ate: Apple Crumble
Boredom at Work: half-day workshop (sic)
Irritation of the Day: alleged professionals breaking the brand

iPod-alotry
"Come on You Slags - Aphex Twin
"The End and the Beginning" - The Devics
Tenskwatawa" - Songs: Ohia
"Little Eyes" - Yo La Tengo
"When Did You Stop Loving Me, When Did I Stop Loving You" - Jeff Parker
"Off To Mars" - Mike Ladd
"Part 2" from The Three Cornered Hat - Manuel De Falla
"The Incredible He Woman" - Stereolab
"Stratum" - Rod Cooper
"Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds" - The Beatles
"My Heart Might Stop" - Black Heart Procession
Brandenburg Concerto No.4 - J.S. Bach
"Annabelle" - Gillian Welch
"Mickey's Mother" - Arnold
"Russian Orthodox" - Delgados
"Schon Sehr Viel Telefuniert" - To Rococo Rot

I'll Have the Herring

2007-11-02T23:20:00.000Z

...with New Potatoes and Salad...

World Toilet Summit: "An estimated 2.6 billion people, or about one-third of global population, do not have access to a proper toilet..."

Standby: "Wasted energy from appliances left on standby...accounts for 4m tonnes of excess CO2 each year."

Orchid Watch

iPod-alotry
"You You You You You" - The 6ths
"Glasgow Mega-Snake" - Mogwai
"The Apartment Song" - Do Make Say Think
"Assassination on X-Mas Eve" - Archers of Loaf
"Mirror Ball - Buffalo Daughter
"Ode to Louis Hardin" - Tele:Funken
"For a Moment" - To Rococo Rot/I-Sound
"Larks' Tongue in Aspic, Part IV" - King Crimson
"Plays John Cassavetes" - Ekehard Ehlers
"Love is No Big Truth" - Kings of Convenience
"Hassle" - Sebadoh
"23kid" - 65 Days of Static
"Decoration Day" - John Lee Hooker
""The Streets Where All I Saw" - Dakota Suite

C'mon England

2007-10-20T17:48:00.000Z

Almost impossible to miss the hype.

All we can say here is that at least England can't lose on penalties to Germany.

"If a Cow* Can't Eat It...

2007-10-17T20:24:00.000Z

...I won't play on it," as Dick Allen, anti-establishment baseball star, famously said about artificial turf.

Although the press tried to pre-cook an excuse for English failure - the artificial turf in Moscow - it was instead was if you believe England "coach", Steve "Steve" McLaren, the usual scapegoat. The referee.

"The penalty was a disgrace, it was outside the box, the linesman didn't give it, it was the referee and he was very far away."

Sorry "Steve". That just about balanced England's offside goal.

The hapless grinner went on to add: "...I can't fault the players."

Well, if that's not the case, one might assume it's the coach's fault.

Dick Allen also earned infamy by scrawling messages in the infield dirt (see above) and commenting on the "boo birds" of Philly: "I can play anywhere; First, Third, Left field, anywhere but Philadelphia."

Looks like England should start scrawling help messages.

As for "Steve" McLaren, he can coach anywhere: Man United (as No.2), Middlesbrough, er Oxford, Derby, anywhere but [for] England.

To quote Allen: "Boo!"

iPod-alotry
"Snow is Falling" - Movietone
"Absolutely Sweet Marie" - Bob Dylan
"Drink DJs" - Alog
"Oh How I Miss You" - Broadcast
"Hub 100" - King of Woolworths
"Bones of Her Hands" - Archers of Loaf
"Sunday Morning Traffic" - Pullman
"Call of the Wild" - Jimi Tenor
"Foaming Love" - Bedhead
"Remember" - Experimental Pop Band
"Spiral" - John Coltrane

* - some sources say Allen said horse instead of cow.

Civic Duty

2007-10-10T20:35:00.000Z

Civic planting in Barnstaple.

On this evidence, the police in Tampa might not make it on to CSI.

Our local village shop on TV. Click on "Latest Edition" and scroll to 19:10. Lack of local customers hurts, but closure of the Post Office will kill it.

Got your free Radiohead yet? How much did you pay?

iPod-alotry
"I Shall Be Free" - Bob Dylan
"Bittersweet Me" - R.E.M.
"Time to Find Me (Afx Fast Mix)" - Seefeed
"Chronology" - Ornette Coleman
"Djed (Bruise Blood Mix)" - Tortoise
"Song Meat" - Subtle
"Simple Halo" - Shipping News
"Chorale" - Spring Heel Jack
"Saint Stephen" - Grateful Dead
"Wren's Nest" - Vic Chesnutt
"Rockstar" - Sebadoh
"Love is Like Jazz" - The Magnetic Fields
"For Lack of Better Words" - Orso

Autumn leaves

2007-10-04T21:42:00.000Z

Autumn kicks in along the River Taw.

Great football kits of our time.

Great football quotes of our time:

"...[Avram Grant] is in a no-win situation, unless he wins..." - Graham Taylor

iPod-olatry
"Rain King" - Sonic Youth
"Tak" - Kim Hiorthoy
"Lewis" - Yo La Tengo
"Viðrar Vel Til Loftárása" - Sigur Rós
"New Adventures" - Meanwhile, Back in Communist Russia
"Love Detective" - Arab Strap
"That's the Way" - Led Zeppelin
"Big Boss Man" - Grateful Dead
"Solitaire" - The Notwist
"Tjed" - Tortoise
"De Gal Komt in mijn Mond" - Silvester Anfang
"You Set Off My Brain" - Simian
"Afterwards" - Arab Strap

Stuff Happens

2007-10-02T21:24:00.000Z

Contrary to rumours, we've not travelled so far west as to fall off the edge of the earth. But, there has been a brief hiatus whilst the writer, editor and proprietor had another drink. Regular stuff (but not margaritas) will return sometime.

Meanwhile, Younes Kaboul lost his shirt, but saved Tottenham's blushes on the night the famous North London side celebrated 125 years of glory (tm).

Is it enough to save beleagured coach Martin Jol?

On the one hand, Jol has led the club to it's best ever Premier League finishes, to a UEFA Cup quarter-final, cup semi-finals and has the confidence of the players and most of the fans. On the other, Tottenham spent £40m to improve the squad over the summer yet sit 18th, which seems unlikely to dramatically improve in October as the club face Liverpool and Newcastle (both away) in their next two matches, Jol has lost the confidence of the board and the defence is a joke.

Replacing Jol seems a no-brainer (to the board) if a suitable candidate is available. But with Ramos of Valencia and Mourinho apparently uninterested, there is no immediate candidate. So, Jol will probably survive another few weeks.

Jol:

"...But my family are all in the Marines and a commander never leaves his troops. If he does that he's lost. I kept my head cool."

Late result, FA Cup 2nd round replay: Hitchin Town 5, Haverhill Rovers 0. Up the Canaries!

Running on Empty

2007-09-27T21:38:00.000Z

Nearly came a cropper: just about wheezed into the filling station this morning on fumes of ethanol.

Ahoy there! Today is/was World Maritime Day. Support your local Flag of Convenience.

Whither Belgium? The centre of international co-operation is also the home to a dysfunctional domestic federation.

Axis of Evil Updates
"You arrogant renegade, your accusation against the DPRK is no more than barking at the moon!"

(Ironic) Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is an unintentional comedian:

An Iranian-American journalist asked him to clarify his extraordinary claim on Monday that there were no gay people in Iran, pointing out, "I know a few myself."

"Seriously? I don't know any," the president replied, in apparent surprise. "Give me some addresses so we're able to go to visit them and learn about them."

Given that sodomy is a crime punishable by death in Iran, it was a particular chilling offer.

iPod-olatry
"The Bereaved" - Experimental Pop Band
"Have You Passed Through This Night" - Explosions in the Sky
"1983 (A Merman I Should Turn to be)" - The Jimi Hendrix Experience
"Nailing Honey to the Bee" - Brian Jonestown Massacre
"Harold Budd" - Rothko
"Neon Golden" - The Notwist
"Personal Stereo" - Appliance
"Nixon in China: Act II, Scene II, Tropical Storm" - John Adams
"Zebra" - The Magnetic Fields

Offside

2007-09-26T20:53:00.000Z

On the radio the first Tottenham goal looked onside to me.

What is the top item that you think Motorway Service Areas should try to improve? Show your MSA dinner, too! But, where's Taunton Dean(e)?

Bog Roll: artistic use of the humble toilet paper.

"Best" blog on the web.

Last night at the Spitz: get there if you can and support the cause.

iPod-olatry
"King of Nothing Never" - Lambchop
"Pushkin" - Bonnie "Prince" Billy
"Trumpcard" - Jimi Tenor
"The Swarm" - Simian
"I Ain't Crazy" - Brute
"Darkest Dreaming" - David Sylvian
"Bittersweet Me" - R.E.M.
"Brandenburg Concerto No.6 (J.S. Bach)" - Muenchener Bach Orchester
"Plays John Cassavetes" - Ekkehard Ehlers
"One Chance" - Modest Mouse
"Bill's Mom Likes to Fuck" - A Minor Forest
"It's All Around You" - Tortoise
"Roman Candle" - Bedhead
"Tired Hippo" - Yo La Tengo
"Lyasnya" - Pullman

Pay Day

2007-09-25T21:33:00.000Z

£500,000 (or about 105,000 dozen donuts) for a new playground. Hope the kids enjoy it.

Times are hard. At the end of the pay month, there was enough money in the account to buy about three-and-a-half dozen donuts.

Radiohead playing games with fans.

50 years ago (yesterday): dem bums play the last game at Ebbets Field. By the time I turned up on Long Island, Ebbets Field and the Polo Grounds (home of the New York baseball Giants) were memories, though much fresher than now.

I saw all my baseball games at the Big Shea (including a "home" game for the briefly itinerant, hated Yankees). Dodger and Giant series were the big tickets given that both teams had only just left the area. Add to that, there were a couple of favourites from the 50s, like Wille Mays and Don Drysdale, still playing for those clubs.

My first game at Shea was to see the Dodgers on a hot Sunday afternoon in June 1968. We got held up in traffic and missed the first few innings. Sat in the upper deck, which was so high we could touch the sun. Or to be precise, the sun touched us with a severe burn. I did not have a beer (being slightly under age at the time).

My beer is Rheingold, the dry beer
Think Rheingold whenever you buy beer

That plastic batting helmet was still around in my parents house in the 80s.

iPod-olatry
"Niger" - Mali Music
"Brandenburg Concerto No.1 (J.S. Bach)" - Muenchener Bach-Orchester
"Shadow Pugilist" - June of 44
"Run! Christian, Run!" - Super Furry Animals
"Vent" - Tricky
"Bird in the Hand" - Sebadoh
"The Girls Want to Be With the Girls" - Talking Heads
"intercourse" - Techno Animal
"Our Way to Fall" - Yo La Tengo
"Trick Bag (Shoppin' for My Tombstone)" - John Lee Hooker
"Falling" - Julee Cruise
"Man Research (Clapper)" - Gorillaz
"Inside Elevation" - Pan American
"Send a Message to Her" - Beck
"Shoes" - Atmosphere
"Leaning Against the Wall" - Kings of Convenience
"Mr. F" - The Sea and Cake
""Peace - a Theme" - King Crimson

Yawn, It's Monday

2007-09-24T21:08:00.000Z

Camp Nou or is it Nou Camp? To be turned into a urinal or tread worn tire.

"Samples of earth taken by Russians who planted a flag on the seabed below the North Pole last month show beyond doubt the Arctic is Russian, its natural resources ministry said..." Might as well go further and annex Alaska on the basis that Siberia was once linked to it.

Baseball news: Washington Nationals play last game at RFK. Check back in April in case the building schedule on the new digs slips. Meanwhile, the cynics weigh in against the club's hitherto parsimony. Misschatter was serving mojitos.

iPod-olatry
"Driftwood" - Sickoakes
"It's Not My Cross to Bear" - The Allman Brothers' Band
"Untitled" - HIM
"Exit Right" - Eleventh Dream Day
"The Long Narrow Road" - John Surman
"You Were Right" - Built to Spill
"Side Netting" - Telstar Ponies
"Lachrymae Antiquae" (John Dowland) - Kronos Quartet
"Improv - Some Pussyfooting" - King Crimson
"Polynomial C" - Aphex Twin
"Down by the River" - Low/Dirty Three
"I Get My Kicks for You" - June of 44
"Pipeline/Kill Time" - Sonic Youth
"Nomanisisland" - Subtle

Five Years of Sprinkles

2007-09-23T21:05:00.000Z

We've been on the web for 5 years, give or take a few days.

Have another donut...

Olympic Death Pit

2007-09-23T21:00:00.000Z

Life sucks. Have another drink.

Oh dear what can the matter be/Gwyneth Coles is stuck in the lavatory

The fence cut the bridge in half: on the west side of the canal, there was the usual grimy bustle of Hackney's remaining factories, all wheezing forklifts and tight Victorian yards; on the 2012 side, silence. I looked through an unusually large gap in the fence. There was a street of intact and handsome old industrial buildings, a billboard advertising the new Lexus, and roads and pavements eerily populated only by traffic cones, like a scene from a post-apocalyptic film.

Do I want the Olympics in London? Yes. Do I want the Olympics in London to bankrupt the city/country? Hell no. Do I want the Olympics to be an opportunity to kick start East London? Yes. Do I want the London Olympics to be an excuse to lay waste to East London and put nothing into the community? Hell no.

Missed a London cycle event. Ken had a ride. Now deliver some cycle paths rather than cycle routes (a waste of paint and a danger to cyclists, motorists and pedestrians).

Weekend Cyclist. Two rides. 50km. No falls.

iPod-dolatry
"Hair Dude, You're Stepping On My Mystique" - Out Hud
"This Bum's Paid" - Out Hud
"Dad, There's A Little Phrase Called Too Much Information" - Out Hud
"Story Of The Whole Thing" - Out Hud
"Abillera" - The Necks
"Listening In Depth" - Labradford
"Dead Dogs Two" -cLOUDDEAD
"If I Was Santa Claus" - Atmosphere
"Powder" - Bedhead

Silent But Deadly

2007-09-19T20:21:00.000Z

Barn'aple Fair.

Then sing of Barum, merry town and Barum's merry mayor too
I know no place in a'l the world old Barum to compare to.

Apparently, this is fun: spinning through the North Devon evening after scarfing hot dogs, chips, candy floss, chocolate, fizzy drinks and possibly a nip or two of something stronger. Still, no worse than visiting McDonald's.

By burning waste from McDonald's "restaurants" around Sheffield, the company claims it is making a green contribution. Power for just 50 homes (according to green groups; McD's says 130 "buildings") from a menu of products that already has a staggering environmental impact as well as superfluous packaging. Each McD's produces 100 tonnes of waste a year: tackle the unnecessary waste first.

Vegetarian Society launches its "Silent But Deadly" campaign - i.e. what comes out of the bottoms of cows ain't good. "Farmed animals produce more greenhouse gas emissions (18%) than the world's entire transport system (13.5%)." Green fields: pretty, but not so green.

Yeuch. I'm not loving it.

iPod-dolatry
"While My Guitar Gently Weeps" - The Beatles
"New Broadway" - The High Llamas
"Immune" - Low
"Wrinkled Ghost" - Robert Pollard
"Kesson Dalef" - Aphex Twin
Untitled from The Eventual Bow - Sonna
"Tharoman" - Threnody Ensemble
"Dead Flowers" - The Rolling Stones
"Dazed and Confused" - Led Zeppelin
"Spiderwebbed" - Tortoise

Rainbow

2007-09-18T22:12:00.000Z

"Red sky at night/sailor's delight/Red sky in the morning/sailor take warning"

Can't remember the rhyme for rainbow. Maybe it was this:

Up above the streets and houses,
Rainbow climbing high,
Everyone can see it smiling
Over the sky.
Paint the whole world with a rainbow.

Or maybe it was: "pete gets soaked walking to work"

The US Defense Department is to hold a Q and A session on a $1 million contest to build a lightweight, wearable battery power system for US forces. Wage war and save the environment. Cool.

Make cities mobile: Severing car dependency

More silly environmental news: Surfers fear smaller swell as Atlantic wave farm approved. Tough.

iPod-dolatry
"The Waterfront" - John Lee Hooker
Mystery Bretheren Vironment - Mice Parade
"Charlotte's Mouth" - Seefeel
"I Couldn't Sleep, Either" - Montgolfier Brothers
"Lewis" - Yo La Tengo
"This Year's Girl" - Elvis Costello
"Most Likely You Go Your Way and I'll Go Mine" - Bob Dylan
"Bonde" - Ali Farka Toure with Ry Cooder
"Excavation" - Haruna Ito
"Emperor Tomato Ketchup" - Stereolab

Get Your V1agra Here

2007-09-17T21:22:00.000Z

10 places not to take your hols

Iamadonut: guaranteed not unhealthy content according to the Chinese Government

It's EU Mobility Week: so get mobile, but preferably not using a car.

That Viagra e-mail? It is a scam.

England suck, England suck, England don't suck. Women to the rescue, as usual.

Suddenly, the Archbishop of York is an expert criminal investigator (or a stooge of the McCann media machine).

Make your opinion known, earn money (and earn me money): be a YouGov Panel member (sorry UK residents only).

WHOM have you slept with?

iPod-dolatry
"Epitaph" - King Crimson
"Tower of Our Tuning" - Broadcast
"When We Reach the Hill" - The Black Heart Procession
"Silver Rider" - Low
"California" - Low
"Sine Wave" - Mogwai
"Comely Row" - Solex
"Desert Chorus" (from Harmonium) - John Adams
"Rainy Day, Dream Away" - The Jimi Hendrix Experience
"The Story of Jazz" - Yo La Tengo

Road Rash

2007-09-16T19:56:00.000Z

Tarka Trail again. This time heading south from Puffing Billy towards Meeth, uphill for 6km, then a short drop into East Yarde. That was 22 minutes of hard pedalling. On the return trip managed to hit a steady 30kph on most sections though it is bumpy gravel with the odd remnant of ballast. Slowed for dogs and walkers, met and passed horses at Watergate. Then, nearing Torrington, belting along at 32kph, passed two people sitting on a bench. Distracted. Yikes!! That gate is approaching quickly!! Brakes. Skid on gravel. Wipeout. Road rash.

Green bin bags: do you realise that conventional plastic rubbish bags take a hundred or so years to degrade? These babies will degrade within 18 months. On the downside, you've got to order them online and they do produce CO2 when they degrade.

Fields, Birds and Pistols (and Femdom)

2007-09-15T21:40:00.000Z

Hey, kinky linky link (nsfw)

16.16km on the Tarka Trail - Puffing Billy to Bideford - at a clip of 23.3kph. Not bad for an out-of-shape, bloated 49 year-old.

Cows in green fields, unconcerned about Foot-and-Mouth disease, but they ought to know that animals can now be moved to abattoirs.

The Sex Pistols say a dirty word on TV.

...[Pistol Glen] Matlock is the first person without an Oxbridge degree to have used the word [fuck] on television, an irony only if you have peculiar views about the value of an Oxbridge education and/or swearing.

Meanwhile ex-Stone Rose Ian Brown praises the 70s (and the Pistols too boot):

There was no Walkmans, videos, Nintendo or Xboxes, no internet, no mobiles. No computers. No DVDs. There were only three TV channels. They cry laughing. But it made us hungry and thoughtful. And we had great things like the Sex Pistols.

Swallows: either preparing to migrate south for the winter or crap on the car.

Road Trip!! (Don't Try This at Home)*

2007-09-14T16:03:00.000Z

Well, not really that exciting: driving from North Devon to Chandler's Ford, Hants (site of some excitement yesterday)**.

After farting around Bideford and Barn'aple on the A39 "Atlantic Highway", we push south-east on Devon's own la via della morte or A361 North Devon Link Road. Before the link road, these parts could be reached by dirt roads and tractor clogged single track lanes only.

The link road meets the M5 (and civilisation) near Tiverton Parkway rail station. We avoid hitting caravans and peel north on to the motorway.

Rover hits 85mph on the M5 or to give it its proper name - the Caravan Clogged Motorway.

Time for a pit stop at the delightful Taunton Dean(e) Services. As usual, Cleetus the Slack Jawed Yokel was serving at Costa Coffee, so instead of waiting 15 minutes we ploughed onwards.

Exit 25 - Somerset Cricket and cider.

The A358 brings traffic 24/7 to the otherwise pleasant village of Henlade. There's a roadside cafe in a lay-by before you enter the village - no entrance from our side. Carved wooden mushrooms are also available.

The home of dangerous driving: the A303 Ilminster by-pass. Three lanes, alternating passing lane every mile or so. This is road design crying out for head-on collisions.

50mph speed limit through Chicklade.

The wide expanses of the A303, running from the M3 in Hampshire to Exeter, it is part of the main route from London to the South-West though it places it resembles a country lane.

Back up to 80mph on dual carriageway near Wylye, site of The Bell pub - excellent beer and food.

Stonehenge lurking to the left. This bit of the A303 is notorious for traffic jams. Got caught here for half-an-hour in both directions on my last trip.

The bizarre A303/A34 junction. Going eastbound to southbound necessitates a hasty exit, apply brakes, negotiate mini-roundabout, under the both roads, past a pub isolated by main east-west/south-north highways, another mini-roundabout and a very short entrance ramp.

Merging with the A33 just before meeting the M3 near Winchester. Another notorious bottleneck. There seems to be a plethora of white vans.

A particularly grubby windscreen as we pass over what used to be Twyford Down, demolition of which was one of the grubbiest excesses of Thatcher's Britain.

Entering Chandler's Ford, there were signs saying "Road Closed Ahead". Thought nothing of it. Parked at Waitrose to pick up chocolate and flowers. As I got back in the car, I switched on the radio to hear: "second robber in Hampshire bank raid dies." Thinks: "Hmm, wonder where that was?" Well, it was here and I was here.

On the way home, this was supposed to be a photo of Stonehenge.

Toilet break at the Little Chef near West Knoyle.

iPod-idolatry
"The Devil-Tips" - Arab Strap
"Pictures" - Mojave 3
"United Nations" - Bobby Conn
"Nobody's Fault But Mone" - Led Zeppelin
"Satan" - Orbital
"Providence" - Godspeed You! Black Emperor
"Erik's Budding Romance" - A Minor Forest
"The Bends" - Radiohead
"Candlewax" - Spooncurve
"White Worms" - Dump
"I Would Hurt a Fly" - Built to Spill
"Along the Route" - To Rococo Rot/I-Sound
"The Girl with the Flesh Colored Crayon" - Aix-em-Klemm
"The Keen Teen Skip" - cLOUDDEAD
"Make Your Move" - The Delagados
"Pilot" - The Notwist
"Happy Hour" - The Housemartins
"Missouri" - Low
"Simple Halo" - Shipping News
...and 30 odd more...

* - the author does not recommend taking photos whilst driving at excessive speeds (except for artistic purposes)
** - nothing to do with me guv.

Life Goal: Tour de Donut

2007-09-12T22:05:00.000Z

lick this

The Tour de Donut. Now that's a bike race we can support.

Set, meet and track your life goals or visits to the pub.

Whole lotta reunions. Greatest. Group. Ever.

Where There's Muck There's Brass (or Onions)

2007-09-11T18:33:00.000Z

Bagging the homemade compost.

e-Bay fraud and how small-time fraudsters get away with it.

Plans to rejuvenate the Quartier Europeen in Brussels.

Glass and steel aside, there's a lot of grubby old buildings around Euro-Land

22 years in a Travelodge? Must be the complimentary biscuits.

Onions out to dry.

"Fun" Run

2007-09-09T21:00:00.000Z

To Lanhydrock near Bodmin, Cornwall - for a Cancer Research 10k.

"It's all about fun" intoned inane DJ. Yeah, that and the chaffing.

Sisters celebrating with a Tracker bar.

I'm a Little Teapot Short and Stout...

2007-09-08T18:00:00.000Z

Teatime on the Grand Western Canal.

Not the intended walk due to FlyBe being the crappest airline in the world, but a pleasant stroll along the towpath at Tiverton.

iPod-olatory
"Galapagos" - Tortoise (Spring Heel Jack remix)
"Shoulder Length" - The Seas and Cake
"f.l.f. Precious Bodily Fluids" - Appliance
"No More Mosquitoes" - Four Tet
"Denvermolorado" - Atmosphere
"Dream for an End to Sorrow" - Rothko
"The Way You Say Good-Night" - The Magnetic Fields
"Washington D.C." - The Magnetic Fields
"The Fix" - The Black Heart Procession
"You Ain't Got a Hold on Me - Mark Kozalek

Love is Like a Bottle of Gin

2007-09-05T21:25:00.001Z

Police State Update: Proof positive (yet again), that judges are fecking out of touch with reality.

Drink irresponsibly: gin is "low" in calories, y'know.

Ah, Almaty.

BBC-South West was filming at the Village Hall last night for "Inside Out" about village shops.

Meanwhile, the BBC drops climate change programme due to lack of balance.

Rock Parque

The Big Match.

iPod-olatory
"Yasmin the Light" - Explosions in the Sky
"Soul Sucking Jerk" - Beck
"Love is Like a Bottle of Gin" - Magnetic Fields
"Connected by a String" - Devics
"Hindenburg" - Town and Country
"Keito" - Ali Farka Toure with Ry Cooder
"Piazza, New York Catcher" - Belle & Sebastian
"Not Fade Away/Goin' Down the Road Feelin' Bad" - Grateful Dead
"Robot Chant" - Mogwai
"Just Stand Back" - Low
"Easy Money" - King Crimson
"Shudder/King of Snake" - Underworld

Kill All Hippies

2007-09-04T23:59:00.000Z

Nice motor, Steve.

A night of committee-ing with the gardeners.

Not much else happened so here's a photo of beans and cuke.

iPod-olatory
"Pay No Mind (Snoozer)" - Beck
"My Father, My King" - Mogwai
"Distance Comes in Droves" - Archers of Loaf
"O Salutaris Hostia" - Jan Garbarek and the Hilliard Ensemble
"Brandenburg Concerto No.1" (J.S. Bach) - Muencher Bach-Orchester
"Lament" - King Crimson
"Deepest Shadows Have Light" - Rothko
"Kill All Hippies" - Primal Scream
"Onions" - Do Make Say Think
"The Sewing Machine" - The Sea and the Cake
"The Slaughter of the Innocents" - King Crimson
"Helicon 2 (Max Tundra Re-mix) - Mogwai
"We're Pastie to be Grill You" - The Orb
"River of Bass" - Underworld
"Glue of the Otherworld" - Four Tet

(posted after the fact)

Just Do It

2007-09-03T20:27:00.000Z

Rock stars (particularly Any Winehouse): do drugs, please or you'll end up like Chris Bloody Martin:
"...every culture needs a totemic figure who is prepared to go into the wilder terrain of substance usage, a place where the rest of us don't want to or don't need to go."

Don't write off the internal combustion engine, just yet:
"The use of solar power for cars will stay marginal until 2020-2025"

Higher river levels as more CO2 makes plants less thirsty. So I don't feel guilty about not watering the tomatoes.

iPod-olatory
"Bhajore" - Jai Uttal and the Pagan Love Orchestra
"The Negatives" - Hood
"I'm Goofballs for Bozzo Jazz" - Don Caballero
"Vacuum Boots" - The Brian Jonestown Massacre
"Eat Junk Become Junk" - Six by Seven
"Deep Down" - Calexico
"Rafters" - Moby
"Palm Trees in the Fecking Bahamas" - Don Caballero
"Addition" - Spokane
"Witness" - The Delgados

Non, je ne regrette rien

2007-08-31T23:59:00.000Z

Virtual Unreality: WWF (not that WWF) on Second Life:
"Pack your virtual suitcase and head for Conservation Island, a place where an orangutan will sell you an ice cream and a floating panda will be your friend."

Plate tectonics: Manchester hit by sixth earthquake in a month.

Health News: Drug addled elephant in rehab.

Light bulb update: "European consumers will probably have to wait another year before they see the prices of energy-saving light bulbs fall, following a Commission decision to extend anti-dumping duties on imports from China rather than scrap them immediately."

Arsenal bought by the Russian mafia.

On the radio: y'know, the theme from 2001.

Culture night per la famiglia "donut": un film.

iPod-olatory
"Everybody's in a Band" - Two Dollar Guitar
"Satan's Friends" - Experimental Pop Band
"Dancing with the Moonlit Knight" - Genesis
"Twin Falls" - Built to Spill
"Wont' Get to Heaven" - Spriritualized
"Hum" - Bardo Pond
"Silver Rocket" - Sonic Youth
"Swastika Eyes" - Primal Scream
"I Won't Back Down" - Johnny Cash
"Expect Snakes" - The Anomoanon

80:20

2007-08-30T21:55:00.000Z

Pareto Principle applied to the blogosphere: 20% quality, 80% filler.

Hey, all those floppies in your office? Well, them's f@cked. Kind of reminds me of the Led Zeppelin DVD released a few years back. Remastering some of the old videotapes required emptying out museums of their old tape machines.

This is terrible. Spitz, a small venue in Spitalfields Market is about to close. Saw a couple of brilliant gigs there: Chicago Underground Duo back in 2001 on a horridly hot and sticky July night and, possibly the same year, Do Make Say Think when someone I never met before and never since smuggled me into the tiny sold out venue. Please sign the petition and cough up some cash if you can.

iPod-olatory
"09-15-00 (Part One)" - Godspeed You! Black Emperor
"Lordy" - Low/Dirty Three
"Local Forecast" - Casino Vs. Japan Vs. Nudge
"Hani" - Ali Farka Toure
"Disco & Haze" - Do Make Say Think
"Houses of the Holy" - Led Zeppelin
"C. Of People" - Labradford
"The Swarm" - Simian
"Hot Wire My Heart" - Sonic Youth
"Harmonium: Because I Could Not Stop for Death" - John Adams
"A Tale of Apes, Pt 1" - Subtle

Enjoy Your Pizza

2007-08-29T21:26:00.000Z

Battle between EU Industry and Trade Commissioners over lowering the cost of energy-efficient light bulbs. German protecting his own industry at the expense of consumers and energy efficiency.

Bush pr0n

Another internet 10th anniversary. Yawn. Teh bloggers.

...the medium has radically changed publishing and communication. But not everyone is convinced ...For the blogging tribe, it's more like time to get out the red pencil, and dispute the premise of the anniversary itself.

Props to the Tottenham Massive.

Another football cardiac arrest? As Sevilla holds funeral for Puerta.

Rock Parque

Rubbish food: food rubbish.

iPodolatory
"Just Me and Phil" - Jah Wobble
"Dánarfregnir Og Jarðarfarir" - Sigur Rós
"Soot" - Sam Shalabi
"Cuban" - Sebadoh
"Worlds Melt Away" - Rothko
"Cadriopo" - Stereolab
"Buffalo606 - The Morning After" - Kid 606
"The Individual" - Spiritualized
"81" - The Marquis De Tren And Bonny Billy
"Knife Attack" - Timesbold
"Team Handed" - Mogwai
"Larks Tongue in Aspic Part One" - King Crimson
"Milkman" - Aphex Twin
"Threnody of Souls in Torment" - The Robert Fripp String Quartet

Objects In Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear

2007-08-28T19:43:00.000Z

A dead leaf trapped in the spider's web covering the rear view mirror.

Happy 10th birthday CSS: cascading style sheets what drives good internet style and what consigned flashing, nasty type-faced, table ridden web pages to the dustbin. Bring on True Type fonts and other aesthetic niceties. Or, perhaps we should concentrate on content that people will read.

The world's first ecologically sound prison. In Norway, of course. Prison should be about rehabilitation as well as punishment so a sustainable prison has a resonance to it. But, then I'm a limp-wristed liberal.

Berbatov is apparently staying at Tottenham, but JD on his way to AV.

Why we like chocolate.

British researchers ... found that the pleasure centres of chocolate lovers' brains lit up more strongly in response to the food than those who are less partial. "The take-home message is that if you want to limit [food] intake, you could limit the extent to which you are exposed to the combination of sight and taste. For example, you could eat in the dark"

Or you could eat dark chocolate.

iPodolatory
"Golfer Vrs Boxer" - Amon Tobin
"Camp" - The Anomoanon
"Anyway" - Genesis
"You Could Ruin My Day" - Four Tet
"Operator" - Grateful Dead
"Robot New York" - Add N to (X)
"Mogwai Fear Satan" - Mogwai (My Bloody Valentine Remix)

An Occassional Donut Posting

2007-08-27T21:31:00.000Z

You Are a Boston Creme Donut

You have a tough exterior. No one wants to mess with you.
But on the inside, you're a total pushover and completely soft.
You're a traditionalist, and you don't change easily.
You're likely to eat the same doughnut every morning, and pout if it's sold out.

What Donut Are You?

We Know Where You Live Howard Webb

2007-08-27T20:36:00.000Z

Opiniated football report follows.

Let's review Law 12 of Association Football:

A direct free kick is ... awarded to the opposing team if a player ... :

* handles the ball deliberately (except for the goalkeeper within his own penalty area)

...

A penalty kick is awarded if any of the above is committed by a player inside his own penalty area, irrespective of the position of the ball, provided it is in play.

Penalty dude. We're coming to get your guide dog.

On the positive side, Tottenham defended well for most of the game. There was only the occasional panic; much-maligned 'Keeper Paul Robinson had to make one outstanding save and only had one misjudgment that the Donut can remember. Anthony Gardiner - blimey - was strong, solid and hardly beaten. The patched up defence kept Spurs in the game.

Ricardo Rocha gave the odd heart flutter, but no costly mistakes (except in front of the Man U goal). Gareth Bale made several good runs down the left flank, but when presented with golden opportunity to put in a killer ball across the goal in the dying minutes he cut it back straight to a defender.

Dmitar Berbatov looked disinterested or frustrated for 87 minutes, then nearly turned the game with three pieces of sublime skill. The goals will come.

The midfield held firm in front of the back four. Yet, distribution was irratic throughout.

A good performance, but Man U (for once) were there for the taking - no Rooney, no Ronaldo, no bite in front of goal. Can it help coach Martin Jol avoid the sack? In the long run, probably not. It's Champions League or bust. What purpose would that serve?

Jol's guided the team to consecutive fifth place finishes. He's restored European football to White Hart Lane, helped attract great talent like Berbatov and Bale to the team and has the faith of the fans. This is a work in progress. I don't expect Champions' League football next year. Tottenham need to build for the long haul; assemble a better squad and develop younger talent. Jol's a vital part of the development.

Hot-Spur: Anthony Gardner (for once not the Cardiac Kid)
Tottering Clotspur: Ricardo Rocha (two misses: Row Z volley and free header wide from a corner)

The Day the Sky Disappeared

2007-08-25T20:34:00.000Z

To go along with the Summer that Never Was, the Day the Sky Disappeared.

Never mind Arsenal's sniff of homo-eroticism, what about Cesc Fabregas's child-like qualities: "When I scored my first goal ... I went home and celebrated by drinking a Coca-Cola and eating a Kinder Egg"

Sweeties and fizzy drinks tonight!

Any Mail Merge experts out there? Our whizzy top-of-the-range network uses Word 97. The following pops up when I try to mail merge.

A Kinder Egg and Coke for solutions that work.

Heard of Second Life? Try First Life. Marina Hyde on our internet fixation. (Hooray for the web.)

Crazy, fun-loving, friend of Fidel: Hugo Chavez puts the clock back 30 minutes. (Some might say he's moved the clock back three decades.)

I'm 100% Behind You ... (Pushing You Out the Door)

2007-08-24T22:09:00.000Z

Oh shit. Tottenham Hotspur coach Martin Jol has received the kiss of death.

"Martin has my 100% support and I'd like the fans to understand that they need to take the last few days in the context of what we think has been significant progress over the last six years," [club Chairman Daniel] Levy said.

Well, that's that then. Spurs travel to Old Trafford for the annual 4-0 defeat to Manchester United. What, you expect Man U to avoid victory four games on the trot?

Gerry Adams airport hell. Yes, that Gerry Adams.

To quote a commenter: "I love post-mortems. The recurring death of English football is particularly entertaining."

More Steve "Steve" McLaren news:

"McClaren now has the worst record of any England manager after a dozen fixtures. It would have been folly for him to look full of good cheer when his side had just lost at home to an improvised Germany line-up but he hardly seemed traumatised."

Bused home via sunny Bideford.

iPod-olatory
"Exhausted" - Joseph Arthur
"Sim Gishel" - Autreche
"Foreign Hotel Garden" - Papa M
"Crest" - Tortoise
"Walk All Over You" - Mark Kozalek
"Valerie" - Broadcast
"Tomorrow is Already Here" - Stereolab
"First There was Jazz 2" - Wibutee
"Cody" - Mogwai

Mercy Rule

2007-08-23T21:37:00.000Z

Make your web ads count. Use:

plain text
faces, and
cleavage

Does Major League Baseball need to adopt a mercy rule? Texas batters Baltimore 30-3 in the first game of a doubleheader. In the nightcap, the Rangers shade the Birds 9-7 - wimps.

Some of the numbers are mind boggling. Despite the record breaking score, Balmer used only 4 pitchers. Texas reliever Wes Littleton got a save - i.e. credit for protecting a lead (the ol’ three innings preserving any lead rule). That qualifies as the ultimate cheap save.

Quite apart from 2 grand slams, every starter getting two hits and 7 runs batted in each for the No. 8 and No.9 hitters, "...the Rangers added five points to their team batting average, raising it to .258...Baltimore’s ERA went from 4.39 to 4.60." You might see that in an early season game were stats fluctuate due to small sample size, but not in late August after 130 odd games. Texas also stranded 18 runners.

It's official: Tim Henman, Britain's best tennis player in several decades is retiring. Never a Grand Slam winner, but always a place in the hearts of Middle England.

...when I reflect on my career, I was always able to maximise my potential. This was as good as I could have been. Regarding Wimbledon and the press, I'd be the first to admit that I'd probably be judged on whether I won Wimbledon or not. I don't think that's right.

Bush is more like 1930s appeaser Neville Chamberlain than Bush's hero and Chamberlain's successor, Winston Churchill.

iPod-olatory
"Tourisme" - Kante
"Big Time in the Jungle" - Old Crow Medicine Show
"Soko Yhinka" - Ali Farka Toure
"Brandenburg Concerto No.5" (J.S. Bach) - Muenchener Bach-Orchester
"Good Morning, Good Morning" - The Beatles
"Mary of the Wild Moor" - Johnny Cash
"Bears See Things Pretty Much the Way They Are" - Don Caballero
"Red Morning" - Devics
"Hornswoggle" - Humcrush

Orchid Watch

Despite a good effort to kill off this orchid - too much water, keeping it in a dark room - counter efforts to revive seem to be bearing fruit or buds even.

Headless Chickens

2007-08-22T22:00:00.000Z

Paul Robinson makes a horlicks of a Schneider cross as England lose 2-1 in a miserable "friendly" to the hated Germans. Steve "Steve" McLaren has completed a year as England coach in which time the "golden generation" has produced a succession of mediocre performances and equally mediocre results. At least he's not Sven Goran Eriksson. Sven is currently riding high in first place in the Premier League - but it won't last. Hopefully, McLaren won't last too much longer either. Hire Martin O'Neill, for f&cks sake. Oh, and Team Beckham was on the pitch.

Firefox is teh suxor and users are thieves.

Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael "Ron Mexico" Vick in deeper dog poo-poo.

Funny road signs are very funny.

Google offers a calendar - well, I never.

New toilets in the pipeline, no pun intended.

Egg boxes are banned in craft lessons as they might cause salmonella.

Everyday more than 2 million people read the Daily Hate. How would a limp wristed, liberal fare reading the tabloid?

iPod-ology
"What are You?" - Matt Sweeney & Bonnie "Prince" Billy
"Hallucinex" - Stereolab
"Dark FX" - Mouse on Mars
"Accused of Stealing" - The Delagados
"F-Train" - Squarepusher
"Jungle Jim" - Rodan

Rock Parquet

You say Tomato

2007-08-21T21:13:00.000Z

I say lousy green fruit, the result of a damp and dull so-called summer.

"I want to be
The one to make you feel okay right now
Some way, some how
So when I fall short
I sink so low that I even blame the clouds
For blocking out the sun
And the shadows on the wall
That’s why you feel alone

"Could it be that it’s the season of the shark?"

Lost in Exmoor

2007-08-11T19:31:00.000Z

Make a slight deviation on the South West Coast Path and who knows where you might end up.

On this spot...

2007-08-05T21:11:00.000Z

Walking in Exmoor, part the three. The sun shone, so time for a 5 mile stroll through the Valley of the Rocks to Lee Valley and beyond (to Calvary, almost).

If Toll Booths on the New Jersey Turnpike Were Like this, Would it Make the Tolls Palatable?

2007-07-28T21:28:00.000Z

Walking in Exmoor II: the toll house at Worthy. This was part of a fairly strenuous 8 1/2 mile schlepp from Robbers' Bridge to the coast, Culbone Church and a few isolated farms.

Die Slugs Die

2007-07-24T22:18:00.001Z

Been busy preparing slug traps and defences. Also succumbed to a bit of poison. If you've got a better idea, let me know.

Adults 20p

2007-07-14T21:52:00.000Z

Come one, come all
Come short, come small

Buckland Brewer Village Fete. Bric-a-brac. Games. Morris men. Brass band. Rescue greyhounds. Cakes. Ice Cream. Bouncy castle. That sort of stuff.

In the summer that wasn't, the sun shone.

Turn your fucking lights off

2007-06-03T21:02:00.000Z

On 21 June. Why leave it to London?

Unplug chargers, TVs, computers, electric toothbrushes. Turn off the internet too.

Whilst we're at it, tell Tony Blair to shove nuclear power where the sun don't shine.

Barnstaple Western Bypass

2007-05-23T12:30:00.000Z

Est arrive! Let the fumes increase. And buy the commemorative crap.

Cold Knees (In April)

2007-04-29T17:42:00.000Z

Floored. It's been a busy couple of weeks with D-I-Y. Counting the cost with a numb finger, bad back, sore shoulders and bad knees.

...and a complete non sequitur of a segue...

Release Alan Johnston

2007-04-26T11:52:00.001Z

Do your bit.

Mum

2007-03-29T21:13:00.000Z

Mum was taken to hospital last night with pneumonia. She's very weak, but has perked up since being admitted. The best news is that she is now getting a regular feed. Eating food has been increasingly difficult for her.

Hunter Gatherer

2007-03-29T20:49:00.000Z

Humankind has progressed. We can build greenhouses from the most basic and unreadable instructions.

This...

becomes this.

(ill-matching buckets optional)

Dog ate my blog post...

2007-03-12T21:46:00.000Z

Top ten reasons why this blog hasn't been updated:

10. Down the Coach and Horses winning the pub quiz.

9. Shopping at the Pannier Market. Just what is a Pannier Market?

8. Drying out from the non-stop rain.

7. Planting basil seeds.

6. Painting the kitchen.

5. Watching Tottenham Hotspur blow two goal leads.

4. Assisting the local Constabulary with their inquiries.

3. Planning the vegetable plot.

2. Attending a committee meeting of the newly formed village Gardeners' Club (and designing the club website).

1. Too busy dressing up statues in Barnstaple.

Splash

2007-02-12T10:11:00.000Z

I had to wear a wet suit to work this morning.

It was a dry suit when I left home.

National Sick Note Day

2007-02-05T14:09:00.000Z

That's an unofficial title: but, the first Monday in February is thus dubbed. The alternative "Duvet Day" moniker is also cute.

More than 300,000 workers could call in sick on Monday on what has become the worst day in the year for office absenteeism, research suggests.

Made it in to work though there was a great temptation to roll over and fall asleep.

Now for some inspiration.

Mmmmmmm! Local Beer!

2007-02-04T15:45:00.000Z

Managed to find the local brewery at Abbotsham, Country Life Brewery. It's located at the Big Sheep: "Devon's Top Tourist Attraction"(tm).

Looking forward to quaffing some Old Appledore Ale with homemade pizza.

Frustratingly, our local pub and local shop do not stock the beer. Seems that every pub in a 10 mile radius but ours does serve local beer. Boo.

More dull pictures of the River Taw

2007-02-02T23:07:00.000Z

It was a nice day, beautiful sunset and nothing ever happens in Barnstaple. Is that a good enough excuse?

Shit Happens

2007-02-01T21:00:00.000Z

Some suspicious looking gunk in the River Taw.

You Don't Have to Be Crazy to Work Here, But it Helps

2007-01-26T16:30:00.001Z

Circular to all staff:

...in response to questions about door numbers, the new signs will not have any. this is because the room numbering system dates back to the 60's and bears little resemblance to current office layouts. we feel that with these new signs and new "wayfinding" signs to come, people will find it much easier to locate services etc.

The Bridges of Barnstaple

2007-01-25T21:39:00.000Z

The Longbridge at Barnstaple across the the River Taw has carried traffic for centuries. But, now the town suffocates in cars and trucks.

Behold, the Downstream Bridge...

Carrying the Barnstaple Western Bypass, this ugly concrete structure is nearly complete. Springtime sees the bypass open and Barnstaple's traffic woes disappear.

Little Fluffy Clouds

2007-01-24T18:29:00.000Z

The weather has turned. Gone are the gales and rain. It's ice and cold. As the days grow slightly longer, the walk along the Taw is in twilight. This is the Longbridge in the glow before sun up.

Photo effect fun with this picture is an extreme possibility. A Turneresque end product would most likely be the result.

the skies always had little fluffy clouds in 'em, and they were long, clear, and there were lots of stars, at night. And when it would rain, they would all turn - They were beautiful, the most beautiful skies as a matter of fact. Um, the sunsets were purple and red and yellow and on fire, and the clouds would catch the colors everywhere. That's uh, neat cause I used to look at them all the time, when I was little.

Gridlock

2007-01-22T22:29:00.000Z

A day off.

Took some cardboard to the recycling centre. Got stuck in traffic. Other than tractors, around Torrington every car has at least three Border Collies on board. Speaking of cardboard...

Other excitement: setting light to the previous owners' precious climbing vine. Without intervention it would have eaten the back of the house.

Finally, a Hitchcockian scene the other morning. They eats tyres, y'know.

Too Good to Refuse

2007-01-18T22:45:00.000Z

That is why I ask that we work together so as to have the sun transfered out of my bank into your account. Should you be interested please send me your,

1,Full names,
2,private phone number,
3,current residential address,

Your earliest response to this letter will be appreciated.

Yes, that's right I've been offered the sun. But, not the moon and the stars. Should I hold out for more?

Favours

2007-01-16T21:12:00.000Z

I didn't up sticks and move 200 miles to suffer a circular debate about taxonomy.

There. Got that off my chest.

In the meantime, here's some words that aren't mine, but etched on my brain whilst walking to the Park'n'Ride.

And I, I’ll try to feel fine
While I’m taking orders from bottles of wine
Help me to stand
Help me to say
That I don’t want to be here
I just want away

Touch without touch
Feel without feel
Are we both really hoping
This just isn’t real
Help me to stand
Help me to say
That I don’t want to be here
I don’t want to stay
I can’t give today

Meet the Neighbours

2007-01-15T22:08:00.000Z

As it finally stopped raining and blowing a force 9 gale yesterday, we took ourselves for a wee sunday stroll. It took us around some of the farms surrounding the village. Lots of not-so-nice smells, a couple of barking hounds, bleating sheep and these little dawgies. They are heffers, in fact.

This is looking back to the village on the return leg. Note the large pool of water. Has it been raining? Is Arsene Wenger a French tosser?

Apart from livestock, sprouts are grown less than a mile from the village. Now, that's a gas.

Look carefully and you can see Exmoor.

No sprouts, but that's Dartmoor in the distance. Allegedly you can see Bodmin Moor too on a clear day.

I resolve to blog

2007-01-12T22:11:00.000Z

In the year 2007 I resolve to:
Read the manual.

Get your resolution here.

via a girl i used to know

I heard some such nonsense on the radio driving to home the other day that something like 75% of resolutions fall by the wayside within 48 hours.

20% of surveys come up with 80% of useless statistics.

A good start in the new job

2007-01-09T22:55:00.000Z

I have no phone.

I'm borrowing a desk.

I work for the wrong boss.

And, now they're going to demolish my office.

Waste of time

2007-01-09T21:37:00.001Z

Rather than writing a post, I wasted 30 minutes creating my meez picture.

I blame Yorkshire Soul.

Get your own silly picture at Meez.

New Digs

2007-01-04T22:19:00.000Z

Welcome to the new Donut HQ. It lies about five miles from this festive sign, snapped on the day of arrival (19 December). Thanks to the idiots at BT (you know who you are), interweb access was not fixed at Donut HQ until yesterday. We're catching up on things like paying bills. (How do people pay bills without the interweb?)

Click on the above picture for access to a phalanx of moving out and moving in pictures. Got bored labelling all the shots, so you'll have to make a few guesses as to what you're looking at. That or you can ask. (For the lazy amongst you, here's the full set.)

Plenty of moving house stories to tell. Best told down the pub, so come on over and we can take 50 paces to the local. You buy the beer.

Now, where are those missing cufflinks?

Is this thing working?...

2007-01-02T15:58:00.000Z

Due to technical problems beyond our control, iamadonut has been broken over the holiday period. We will resume normal service shortly.

Carbon Criminal

2006-12-17T16:57:00.000Z

Just a guess here, but I reckon the purveyors of this gross Christmas display of light are against wind farms. So, go nuclear and fuck everyone.

Yes, that's a life-sized plastic cow. Nice touch: the No Parking cone.

Content is King

2006-12-10T12:46:00.000Z

It's been a week of the new life. New job. The content is to be determined.

As the name badge indicates, it rains a lot in Devon. Rain? It sheets down. Add in the wind. Umbrellas are useless.

I work in the ugliest building in town. Believe me, it looks uglier on the inside.

But the view is nice.

Day One

2006-12-04T17:06:00.000Z

Here. In Barnstaple. Day One of the new adventure.

One thing to say: it rains a lot in North Devon. And, the wind blows. Forget about umbrellas. You just have to accept that you'll get wet.

Compared with the last job - here's the desk, get on with it - this is somewhat different. There's a two week induction plan with meetings fixed, hours set aside for reading, invites to Christmas lunches etc.

There's a slight difficulty with the workstation. It's four floors away from the rest of the team and is only available for a month. By then there should - theoretically - be space to relocate and interact with the new work chums. That is, if I can get away from the induction plan and start doing some work.

Home. For this week and next, it consists of a 10 foot square box in an old famrhouse on the outskirts of town. There's free range eggs in the morning, a warm-ish shower and paper thin walls so the guy next and I can hear each other fart.

Uniquely, the landlord is Devon born and bred. That's about the first I've met on the few excursions to the area.

Well, entertainment tonight is "Borat" at Screen 3 of the local Odeon shoebox.

No pictures, sadly. Might have to figure out how to download at an internet cafe.

See you soon!

Mongolian Flag

2006-12-02T16:22:00.000Z

The Mongolian flag, referred to below, came from here. Trip of a lifetime to Ulaan Baatar: now that was a perk of the job.

Dad's birthday

2006-12-01T18:30:00.000Z

Dad enjoyed cake, mince pies, more cake and presents. Oh, did I mention cake?

Leaving London

2006-11-30T23:59:00.000Z

Not quite yet, but today was the last day at work; the last commute; the last skinny latte; the last cursing and muttering under the breath at a stupid person on the tube; the last lunch at Pret; the last chance to run the Villiers Street gauntlet of London Lite, London Paper and Oxfam hustlers.

And, so a final struggle to Victoria. In tow, a champagne crate full of personal ephemera. Mongolian flag, Orioles hat, US Senate tumblers, calculator, desk picture of the dogs. Y'know, the usual crud you collect over the years.

The 1637 closed its doors, engaged gear, revved throttle and rumbled out from platform 9.

Goodbye.

Horror 30 feet underground

2006-11-29T22:17:00.000Z

Just one more day of the undergrind.

Today's delight: delays on the District Line. Decided to wait out the crowds and read my book for 15 minutes.

Basically, London is trying to cope with a system nearly 160 years old. The Underground was never designed as a system. It was designed on the cheap and for profit. The Circle Line would never be built today.

Close the Underground for 5 years, pump in the money and start over again.

Or, move to North Devon.

And, don't get me started on Southern Trains...

My Rubber Ducky

2006-11-24T21:50:00.000Z

A final trip for the company: Wednesday night, Belfast, wind, rain, NIMBYS, dark and rubber duck.

Return journey: Thursday morning, wind, rain, dark, delay, "fast moving air" and go around.

Not sure that Belfast will be on the Donut to do list for quite some time.

Nice Weather We're Having

2006-11-20T21:30:00.000Z

The BBC Weather site comes up with a wild prediction for Saturday. Perhaps time to batten down the hatches.

It was a howling gale last night, but not quite what we're in store for next weekend.

Ich bin ein Berliner

2006-11-18T18:11:00.000Z

At some times in history, we were all Berliners.

On Thursday and Friday, I was a temporary Berliner.

Life's a Beach

2006-11-16T08:00:00.000Z

Why are we moving?

(Not that there's a large countdown board behind my office desk.)

Broad sandy beaches? Surfing? Cream teas? Nestled away coastal villages? Crazy golf? The Barnstaple Western Bypass? Rolling hills? The drug culture?

Maybe it's the broad sandy beaches.

11 working days left (minus 2 days wasted on trips and 2 post-boozy days in the office)

Remembrance

2006-11-12T21:39:00.000Z

It's not about glorification of war or even glorification of the dead. It is about remembrance. Remembrance of those who made the ultimate sacrifice without wishing martyrdom.

My grandfather lived through the horrors of World War I and came out the other side. Enlisted at Day One. Saw his regiment destroyed. Gassed. Promoted. Court-martialled. Honoured. He lived. Too many had hardly the experience he did, but did not come out the other side.

I wish my grandfather had lived long enough to pass on his stories.

Here's the Lancashire Fusiliers part of the Remembrance Garden. Grandfather was a transplanted Glaswegian, but the cavalry regiment he joined was more or less obliterated. So he wound up with the Lancashire Fusiliers.

And, then there's Brian Haw's continuing anti-war protest at Parliament Square...

Toxic Texan

2006-11-08T22:24:00.000Z

"Oooh, bit of politics" as shit bag and class criminal Ben Elton used to say. Evening Standard placard hijacked by Climate Change protestors.

It's been a rum day for Mr Bu$h.

US Congressional Elections

2006-11-06T23:29:00.000Z

My predictions

The Republicans hold the Senate.

Democrats pick up 4 seats.
Your Prediction 49-51
Community Prediction 50-50
Current 45-55

The Democrats take the House.

Democrats pick up 21 seats.
Your Predictions 224-211
Community Prediction 230-205
Current 203-232

You've got a couple of hours to make your predictions.

A very large soap bubble

2006-11-06T22:59:00.000Z

This seemed like a nice way to pass the day. I spent my lunch break watching this pleasant, but meaningless pasttime.

Market Day

2006-11-05T22:22:00.000Z

For the first time in several weeks, we were able to go along to our local Farmers' Market.

Local is a relative term.

The market is a car journey away which kind of defeats the object of farmers bringing the produce to you. And, one has to admit that there are very few farms in London which means it's not really local farmers bringing produce to locals.

But, hey. It's fresh and most of the producers are within or just outside the M25. The produce is seasonal and hasn't been flown around the world, packed in airtight plastic or frozen.

So, I consider it "local". Of course, when we move to Devon we'll be growing much more of our own: much more local.

There'll be a post tomorrow

2006-11-04T22:46:00.000Z

That's always the way. Lots of things bubbling in the head. Ideas, news, opinions, links to this and that on the interweb, silly stories, odd pictures, right-wing nut jobs.

At the moment, the air smells smoky, there's flash of thunder powder and if it weren't for the excuse of Guido Fawkes you'd think that London was under a mortar attack. Off in the distance there's the deep rumble of some awesome rockets. Near distance, it's the off beat bang of cheaper ordinance.

Yet, it's not enough inspiration for a blog post.

Tomorrow there will be a post. I can feel it in my bones. It's a post about how there's less than four weeks before the job is done. Four weeks tomorrow and the Donut takes up temporary residence in North Devon. Devonians won't know what hit 'em. Literally.

But, there's other stuff. This was never meant to be a diary this blog thing. At one stage it was going to be a standard of excellent liberal minded comment. Okay, so forget that. Yet, there's other stuff that needs airing and I'm not just talking underpants. Or, perhaps I am?

Tomorrow there will be another picture. But, there'll also be a post.

Do you like the pictures? Well, why don't you comment then? Comment is free.

It's going to be a fine day in the morn. A fine day for bike riding, gardening, going to the farmer's market, baking bread, making pizza and writing blog posts.

Tomorrow there will be a post. It's going to be a good one.

I can feel it.

Howl at the Moon!

2006-11-04T18:04:00.000Z

A waxing gibbous according to the Moon Calculator to your left.

Trick or Treat?

2006-10-31T22:25:00.000Z

Halloween 1967. I can still remember bending and glueing my orange UNICEF trick or treat collection box for the first time.

G-wiz Haiku

2006-10-30T19:55:00.000Z

Drives like a milk float,
top speed thirty-five downhill,
less with radio on.

*-milk float

Never mind the rainforest, where's my medal?

2006-10-29T22:09:00.000Z

Mrs Donut runs the Rainforest Foundation 10k in Regent's Park: gets a goodies bag full of herbal teas, but no medal.

Mmmmmmm! Beer

2006-10-26T21:06:00.000Z

Yep. It was the Great American Dream. Circa 1967.

Haiku Java

2006-10-26T21:00:00.000Z

Nine loyalty stamps:
Your tenth coffee drink is free.
Skinny latte, please.

Lost Sunday

2006-10-22T20:26:00.000Z

Five hours in the dark without electricity, a taste of the future as the UK cannot produce enough energy. A man from what used to be called the Electricity Board with natty work boots came to repair a fuse - about the size of a desktop PC by the looks of things. More reason to get a wind turbine for the new home in North Devon.

There is still a hose pipe ban in South London. And, there's a flood in the garden. How many metres to the cubit?

A mix up in North Devon:

"We are twinned with Bideford in Devon - and extremely proud of it. There was a ceremony in 1984 in Manteo where there was an exchange of friendship and gifts. Everybody here knows about Bideford."

Philosophy corner:

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist."
- Friedrich Nietzsche

The Nietzsche Family Circus