Friday, August 15, 2003

IT'S FOOTIE TIME, PART 4

Clubs in new stadia (except Leicester in the Walker's Crisp Packet).

Southampton
The Big Question: Which way to Europe?
The Big Answer: Via a cup defeat in Cardiff.
Movers and Shakers: Le Saux for Bridge plus readies (Thanks Rom), Phillips from hapless Sunderland and some bit players with the spare Bridge cash.
In depth analysis (i.e. a load of opinionated bollocks): Phillips to resurrect his career, fat boy Beattie to bag another 20 odd, Le Saux outperforms Bridge, or...
Route 1, Push and Run or Just dumb?: Strachan was never the most stylish player, but he got things done.
Good enough for the Champions League? Too good to be relegated? Or just plain no good?: Europe will be a distraction, but probably not for too long. A top half finish and another cup run.

Bolton Wanderers
The Big Question: Trubbelupmill?
The Big Answer: Nah, me ferret's twazzocked.
Movers and Shakers: Stylianos Giannakopoulos! The most fantastic name in footie since Fausto Asprillia.
In depth analysis (i.e. a load of opinionated bollocks): Jay Jay and not much else on the park. Allardyce's boys have ridden their luck. Those six points off Spurs may not be just enough.
Route 1, Push and Run or Just dumb?: Jay Jay aside, it's welly time.
Good enough for the Champions League? Too good to be relegated? Or just plain no good?: Get out the road map to Rotherham, Ipswich and Bradford. Mind you, where the f@ck is Bolton?

Middlesbrough
The Big Question: Why was 80s midfielder David Armstrong prematurely bald?
The Big Answer: Might have something to the large chemical industry in Cleveland.
Movers and Shakers: Not much in the way of readies passed hands.
In depth analysis (i.e. a load of opinionated bollocks): The Teessdie Maestro, Juninho, pulls the strings. 'Boro are one of the best kept secreats in the Premiership. Expect more wins than losses and a punt at Europe.
Route 1, Push and Run or Just dumb?: Samba stylings.
Good enough for the Champions League? Too good to be relegated? Or just plain no good?: Perhaps a good bet for the cup, finally.

Manchester City
The Big Question: Is there a better soap opera than Man City, Kevin von Keegan and Nicholas Anelka.
The Big Answer: Nope.
Movers and Shakers: England's No. 1 (with even sillier pony tail). Trevor Sinclair (who has never quite lived up to the hype of his early QPR days) from the poor old Hammers.
In depth analysis (i.e. a load of opinionated bollocks): Should be worth watching all season, even when they're not playing. Can Anelka last a second complete season with the stupidist manager in Christendom?
Route 1, Push and Run or Just dumb?: Stupid.
Good enough for the Champions League? Too good to be relegated? Or just plain no good?: It could all come falling down, or the City of Manchester Stadium could see some exciting European football. I bet on both, in the same week in March.

:: Posted by pete @ 07:20