Tuesday, April 19, 2005


Just when you thought there was no one to vote for...

We will issue a 99p coin to save on change.

The Official Monster Raving Loony Party will not join the single European currency. We will invite all Europeans countries to JOIN THE POUND.

Rich people should be taxed to pay for the printing of money, as they use most of it.

Tax credits will be paid to nice people. There will be a “total bastard” tax for everyone else.

Any student who says the word “Like” when not grammatically called for, as in, “Hey, I’m .. Like, going down the… like, pub”, or, “I was, like, don’t do that” will be made to go and stay with George Bush for a week in order to discourage them from other stupid ‘Americanisms’.

4 wheel drive vehicles will only be allowed to drive off road, therefore stopping mothers picking up their children from school in them when they only live 100 yards down the road. They will also be wrapped in bubble wrap to make them safer.

Rather than to attempt re-opening disused railway lines we will put sound systems every 500 yards along the disused tracks which will play sound effects of old steam trains to keep railway loonies happy. When they choose to walk along the old railways nostalgically, men will be employed to throw buckets of soot over them every so often.

Drivers will be allowed to drive over roundabouts when there’s nothing about. This will make driving through Milton Keynes much more fun.

All WMD’s (weapons of Mass Distraction) will be made highly visible so that we can find them.

Any politician wanting to start a war will be shipped off to the country in question with a bag of conkers. They can then conker the country themselves.

The white cliffs of Dover will be painted blue to camouflage our islands.

Yep, it's the Official Monster Raving Looney Party!

:: Posted by pete @ 20:53