Tuesday, November 29, 2005
DON'T PRINT AND DRIVE
What happens when printer drivers don't drive? You have a frustrating day at work.
Bah humbuggery: that goat you were going to buy auntie (well, some folks in Ethiopia get the goat, not auntie) is not such a good idea afterall. Listen here (link only valid for 7 days).
Too late to add your photo of Britain's cold snap.
Please don't put your feet on the seats.
I suppose I've been brave
The highly unlikly rock and all its valves
Are roped off..
As is the would find luggage dilemma
Of love and money
Monday, November 28, 2005
THE HUMBUG STARTS HERE
I'm not an anti-christmastarian, but I do hate the holiday. I dislike the commercialism and the fact that people spend too much money on gifts that people don't want or don't need. Put the christ back in christmas? Sure. Only, I'm not a believer.
When I think of christmas, I have this slightly faded memory of the 1970s, cold rain, warm sparkling wine and the Two Ronnies. That's funny as during all but '78 and '79 my family was Stateside. (And we all know that 1979 means Thatcher; and, Thatcher means the horrible 80s.)
So, it's a month or so of tinsel and spending; bad music and drunkeness; receiving cards at work from who knows f@ck; chopping down trees and vacuuming up pine needles or buying a black artifical tree. The calendars and diaries are nice, but I only need the calendar. I've already bought my filofax refill. Maybe there'll be a hamper from Harrods with food that this veggie won't touch.
No cards or presents, please. No turkey or stuffing. It looks like spanikopta here on the 25th. On the 26th or 27th, it's down to my instutionalised parents.
Sorry, reader(s). There won't be much bonhomie here. There wasn't much in 2004 or 2003 either.
(Nevertheless, the boss (me) is paying for a "christmas" lunch at a Chinese restaurant. Plus, there's a couple of christmasy pictures on my photoblog. That's the limit.)
For that matter, I'm not too fond of New Year's Eve either.
Sunday, November 27, 2005
...for old times sake...
Stuffed :: artichoke
Armstrong :: Ruth. 10th grade crush.
Bruise :: easily
Content :: manager
Musical :: spoons
Assistance :: animal
Scrambling :: par
Batlle :: seplling mitsake
Extended :: warranty
Discount :: store
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Please. No jokes about which one is the turkey.
Received my first Tamiflu for sale e-mail. Tamiflu: the new Viagra. At this point, I could bore you to death with facts about Avian Flu and the expected flu pandemic. Instead, you can read about Avian Flu here and flu pandemic here. Confused? Read more here, here, here and if you really want to shit your pants here. You can even get scared in Welsh. Pass me the Tamiflu.
Free coffee: thank you young lady in the sandwich shop.
Do birds get lost in the fog?
Annie Mole reports: trains overcrowded shock horror. Article probably written by journalist who has never travelled on a train in their life.
If you like horses and/or donkeys, get over to Supermum.
Then go irritate your brain with this optical illusion. (pointed to by Mr BWA)
No thought provoking quote or song lyrics today. Just hum along with the music, if you can.
Try this for humming - "Insomnia" is good.
Monday, November 21, 2005
Enchiladas. More cheese than a mouse trap.
Have you ever had that feeling on a Tube train (or bus or tram) that you cannot balance and you are going to fall into an unsuspecting fellow commuter's lap?
Heavy fog. Strikes me as an oxymoron.
Dial up my number now
Weaving it through the wire
Switch me on, turn me up
Don't want it Baudelaire
Just glitter lust
Switch me on, turn me up
Sunday, November 20, 2005
BRASS MONKEY EDITION
Xerxes: mistaken identity, unrequited love, swords, suicide attempts, silly costumes, topiary and damn fine singing.
Yes, it's cold. But, not that cold. Or, is it?
Some cool music too.
Orange Revolution redux.
"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place" - G.B. Shaw
Time for a coffee refill.
Saturday, November 19, 2005
...BEFORE I WAS RUDELY INTERRUPTED...*
Is B3ta the home of silly infantile dirty minds (not worksafe) or serious poltical satire?
This is very funny, though.
Airline food sucks.
Wanking is good for you (mostly unsafe for, er, work, like).
* - dealyed from Thursday, due to "techincal problems".
Friday, November 18, 2005
BOTTLES OF BEER I HAVE KNOWN IN AIRPORT LOUNGES AROUND THE WORLD
Beck's. Lufthansa business lounge. Heathrow Terminal 2.
Absolutely needed: work and impending dull trip to dull conference with exceedingly dull people. Further beers followed on the plane: Sagres. Further beers followed in the hotel bar: more Sagres, I think.
And, on the return... a further Sagres in the TAP lounge and one on the plane too.
Post-posted. The thought was there at the time. But, the will was not.
Fuck, I´m weird.
Advanced Global Personality Test Results
personality tests by similarminds.com
Stability results were moderately low which suggests you are worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.
Orderliness results were moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.
Extraversion results were moderately low which suggests you are reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive.
introverted, irritable, feels invisible, observer, depressed, does not enjoy leadership, reveals little about self, dislikes large parties, feels undesirable, does not like to stand out, submissive, suspicious, emotionally sensitive, not a thrill seeker, solitude loving, likes silence, fragile, second guesses self, negative, unadventurous, fearful, weird, focuses on people's hidden motives, paranoid, phobic, dependent, cautious, avoidant, semi intellectual
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
THE HAIR TODAY, GONE TOMORROW EDITION
My favourite Australian band. Playing the Astoria tonight. School night gigs: tough ask.
Yep. A shearing has occured. (Google: Barnet Fair)
Excellent! The Anomoanon blog et arrive!
"Irony's pretty cool, but it might have worn out its welcome a little bit. It's hard to sing along with irony." - Ned Oldham
"…the same ragged but right ethos that characterizes the best work of the Band and the Grateful Dead… a shambling, meandering masterwork that twangs, creaks, rocks, and ultimately, soars… melodic and memorable tunes that feel like they could have been written decades ago… brings Graham Parsons to mind… like Exile-era Stones… the group manages to wring new life from old sounds… more timeless than retro."—John Lewis, Baltimore City Paper review of "Asleep Many Years in the Wood"
"Dylan was a child of the 40s who was able to listen to old blues and folk records before white people ruined both--blues to me, growing up, was Yardbirds and the Stone with the penis-head haircut and the harmonica smiling like a supplicant asshole at Howlin' Wolf on some PBS show" - the aforementioned blog
Tomorrow I have meetings with two cabinet ministers.
Everything you need to know about the Åland Islands - "a demilitarised, Swedish-speaking region with a right of self-government secured through international guarantees." Home of the 2009 Island Games. But, as a regular reader, you know that.
Vegetarian sausages. An oxymoron?
Mike at Yorkshire Soul has a new template (complete with teething troubles). Here at I am a donut, we perservered for 3 years more with the same hacked blogger template. We're going to stick with the basic theme, but if a suitable hackable new template can be found we may yet get some valid CSS.
Monday, November 14, 2005
I can't quite figure out if it's autumn or winter.
Cold? My nose nearly fell off. But, not as cold as here (see right).
That's Mongolia, where President Bush is going. I'm not saying it would be nice if he got lost in the Gobi...
Quotes from the funniest programme on TV. More essential resources here.
"I'm not drunk, all right. I just have a speech impediment ... and a stomach virus ... and an inner ear infection."
Check out the gnarly "Family Guy" quote generator to the left.
Yes, there is a left bias to the this blog.
Sunday, November 13, 2005
What happened to the weekend? Shed loads.
I’ve been thinking all day, but I’ve got nothing good to say
There’s a war on my mind, let me leave it all behind
Things we’ll never share are hangin’ heavy in the air
With all the weird on the way, let me have a perfect day
PizzaDude, still as awesome as the first time I heard it.
Friday, November 11, 2005
This is just soooo cute.
Our archives are extensive. This seems appropriate 2 1/2 years later. Yeah, supersize my insurgency.
Oh feck, the cheerleader scandal just got political. I blame Bush.
Weather: dreek. Unfortunately good weather on the way so no excuses for not mending the shed roof.
Crime series Taggart is on another run on British TV. The lead character died like ten years ago. A former neighbour's boyfriend developed the series back in the early 90s, or it may have been the late 80s!
Store bought soup just doesn't do it for me.
"...what good does it do if everyone is idealogically correct but goes around without trousers?" - Nikita Khrushchev
This just in from Fox News.
Thursday, November 10, 2005
GHOSTS AND FLOWERS
There's something pleasing, comforting and very cool about hearing Big Ben strike the hour.
I snored so loud last night that my bedside table vibrated.
Took some very nice photos this evening.
Tomorrow is Remembrance Day. I'm sure I've bored readers to death with stories about my grandfather who signed up in the summer of '14, was gased twice, promoted, court martialed, mentioned in dispatches and survived through five years of brutal combat.
Passed Westminster Abbey where there was commemorative garden and lots of old soldiers.
One potato, two potato.
This man used to be my boss. [sotto voce] Pompous twat...
Speaking of Tony Blair, apparently we're not going to be a police state.
I did one of those quiz things again. Stupid quiz thing.
In latest cheerleader news. This just in...(but likely to have expired by the time you read this)
Top Ten Questions On The Carolina Panthers Cheerleading Application: 10. "You're cool about getting freaky in restrooms, right?"
Say "good night", Dick. "Good night, Dick."
when the phone rang, 3 in the morn, dead middle of night
there was nuthin on the line
i set back the silent receiver / tiny flames lit in my head
hey did any of you freaks here ever remember lenny?
i can't remember his last name
he's turned to dust now, one of the chosen few
left out in the rain, out of town again
left out in the rain, ocean bound i guess
Mind how you go.
|This Is My Life, Rated|
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Well, that sucks.
Thanks blog cousin!
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Powder for body.
Roll-on to reduce stink.
Cream for dry skin on face.
Aloe Vera gel for dry skin on legs.
Gel for hair.
After shave gel for raw neck.
Sage and confrey for spots.
Canestan for rash.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
it went like this:
the buildings tumbled in on themselves
mothers clutching babies picked through the rubble
and pulled out their hair
the skyline was beautiful on fire
all twisted metal stretching upwards
everything washed in a thin orange haze
i said: "kiss me, you're beautiful -
these are truly the last days"
Bed seems a nice place to be at the moment. No kick start to these cool, damp mornings that promise little more than cool, damp journeys; cool (but uncool), damp people; and uncool, dry work.
There's a bike ridiing donut guy out there. Hey, that's my nom de plume.
Shops that sell stamps: why not sell second class stamps too.
Mr Bear Swill has seriously pillar box red hair. I once henna-ed my hair. It made no difference, except my scalp went red and I ruined a towel.
Hey, I am NOT a donut. I'm a flappy bird! Careful, I might have Avian Flu.
What could be better than pasta and blue cheese? Could have topped it off with a nice cold one, but it's a school night.
Compulsive viewing. Don't ask me why.
It takes them fifteen minutes to switch off their effects pedals.
Yes. Yes. I need to get my CV out.
What's playing on your iPod? Bet it's crap compared with I'm listening to on my out-of-date mini-disc.
you grabbed my hand and we fell into it
like a daydream or a fever
we woke up one morning and fell a little further down -
for sure it's the valley of death
i open up my wallet
and it's full of blood
Sunday, November 06, 2005
THINGS TO DO
Buy theatre tickets - "The Producers" for sometime around the Consumerist Holiday.
Send out CV to prospective employers.
Work the phones and clear the e-mails that have built up over the last week of frenetic activity.
Take a picture for the photo blog. [/blog pimp]
Get eyes tested.
Blog like a demon.
Saturday, November 05, 2005
AND THEN NOTHING TURNED ITSELF INSIDE-OUT
The A31 is a good road. Traffic's not too bad though you pick up local drivers around Farnham as well as the odd farmer trundling to town. On the dual carriageway you can keep a steady 75-80mph. Ropley and Four Marks are the only 40mph sections.
Just east of Ropley, there's the site of a head on smash that claimed three tennagers this summer. I obey the limit on that section.
Hogsback. Blackwater Valley. Meon Valley. Watercress Line.
Travelodge, Esso, Shell, Firework shop and the hot tub showroom in Four Marks.
This is the journey to Mum and Dad.
Although you don't believe me you're strong.
Darkness always turns into the Dawn.
And you won't even remember this for long...
When it ends allright.
Please tell me how... you know tomorrow... staring at your shoes.
Tears are in your eyes... every night.
Tears are in your eyes... every night.
Tears are in your eyes... tonight.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
TAKE ONLY PICTURES. LEAVE ONLY FOOTPRINTS
I'm off to Brussels, so it's more:
Take only chocolates. Leave only empty beer bottles.